Lord be my Vision

The Lord has been really sweet in revealing Himself to me today, in ways that seem to be recently absent. So… instead of going to bed (which I need to do!) I decided to enjoy some more time with Him resting by our recently displayed Christmas tree. So I curled up with a cup of coffee (don’t worry, it’s decaf) and opened His word. I began to study 2 Corinthians 7:1. It says, “Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.” The “promises” Paul is speaking of are the ones mentioned right before, at the end of chapter 6. These promises are in regards to the temple of God…us…and it actually quotes Leviticus 26:12. I’ll just scoot ahead to the key point: our goal, because God promises His dwelling in us, is to purify ourselves of every stain in body and spirit, which will perfect holiness in us. This all comes from the Lord and our love for Him. Woah. That’s a lot and that’s crazy.

Now, I’m going to skip ahead but stick with me. So I kind of left that after a while and would come back for specific application. I decided to read through some pages in a safe kept notebook that holds some cherished quotes I have found over the years (and continue to find). I came upon this quote…which no one (by my recording) said. Interesting. Anyways, the quote reads:

“Vision is a perception of the future that produces passion in the present!”

This pulled me in due to my complete inability to be present in the moment which I like to say is vision…although we both know that’s not true. The little Caroline’s in my head take me to places way ahead of the now. They like to think of ideal experiences, conversations, and futures…that don’t actually exist. So, within thirty seconds I had a question, one that I have wanted to ask for so long but didn’t know how. What is the difference between vision and ideals? Were they the same?

Ipad…dictionary app…vision! Okay vision, what do you mean?

After doing the whole, “Oh my goodness there are so many different definitions” scroll, here’s what I found.

1.      The act or power of anticipating that which will or may come to be; prophetic vision; the vision of an entrepreneur.

2.      A vivid, imaginative conception or anticipation: visions of wealth and glory.

So now to ideal…

1.      A standard of perfection or excellence

2.      An ultimate objector aim of endeavor, especially one of high or noble character: He refuses to compromise any of his ideals.

3.      Something that exists only in imagination: To achieve the ideal is almost hopeless.

(well there goes the stab straight into my heart!)

And…there was a math one...but I don’t speak that language.

What I found so interesting is the theme of anticipation in the definitions for vision. And the ideal seems to give a sense of imagining your standards met. At this point, I think I could tell which one I had.

I have ideals, these perfect standards or ideas for my future that “exist only in the imagination” (that third definition is a doozy). I can picture my perfect marriage, perfect job, perfect home, perfect ministry, perfect wedding, perfect tomorrow, perfect next year…and yet all that is being generated by (and for!) an absolutely imperfect person…myself. Many of my thoughts and ideas, although not all bad, are let’s face it, unrealistic or selfish. Yet I put hope in them…??! This makes no sense. Instead of forming VISION, concepts and images that produce anticipation which then produces action now, I form and worship a non-existent, “perfect day”. That leads me to no action.

So… to tie back into 2 Corinthians 7:1, vision should feed from the Father and for the Father. He is my Vision. My knowledge NOW of God dwelling within me, should lead to a vision of perfecting holiness IN HIM. This then should lead to an active, present pursuit of that. Ideals of perfecting my future in future circumstances, will just leave me guessing and not acting.

Vision produces eager action. My ideals produce impatience and discontentment. 

How am I looking at my future? Is it in light of His dwelling place in me, with HIS PERFECTION, HIS Power as my goal? Or am I looking at my future as my perfect circumstances with happiness as my goal? As a result, how am I acting now...?

Summer Beach Project 2012 - Team #boom - Prayer Plan

#boom

PRAYER PLAN

On Mondays pray:

            God would be glorified! [Habakkuk 2:14]

                -His glory would be our aim

-His name be glorified in your

leadership

-His name be glorified in SBP leadership

-His name be glorified in your workplace and among the Myrtle Beach community

On Tuesdays pray:

            God’s Word would be our authority! [Hebrews 4:12]

                -As you teach, lead, rebuke, encourage, and love your disciples

[2 Tim. 3:16-17]

-Our team and beach project community would be grounded in it!

-It would be our sword! [Ephesians 6:10-17]

On Wednesdays pray:

We would lead, and not be ashamed of, a lifestyle of evangelism! [Colossians 1:28-29]

        -in the work place

            -on the beach

            -hotel staff

                        -*as we leave the beach project and enter into our homes and onto our

campus’s

On Thursdays pray:

            We would trust in the provision of God!

                -provision of grace [2 Corinthians 9:8]

                        -provision of support/supporters [Philippians 4:19]

                        -provision of jobs [Luke 12:24]

On Fridays pray:

            We would be a community that reflects Christ!

            [Acts 2:42-47] [Hebrew 10:24-25]

On Saturdays pray:

            We would be passionate about prayer!

                -God would be who we communicate to first and foremost!

                        -Understand it’s time spent with God, not for selfish gain/wants [John 17]

                        -Our community would gather in prayer [Acts 2:42-47]

On Sundays pray:

We would lead and serve the way Christ led and served!

[Philippians 2: 3-11]

        -die to self v. 4

            -humility v.6

            -be servants v.7

            -be obedient v.8

            -done for the Glory of God v.9-11

The Perfect Sinner

The glory of God is so large that our finite minds leave us with nothing but complete and utter awe, or complete and utter confusion. I think it’s a beautiful mixture of the two. Why me?

A girl so filled with depravity and selfishness.

A daughter wanting to rebel from the commands of her father.

A friend often jealous for the wardrobe she never had.

A women desiring the attention of a man.

A sister attempting to one-up anyone and everyone.

I’m the best hypocrite. I sit here and think about how the truth behind the actions is, a lot of times, acting. There is no truth, no genuine deed of love, no change in the heart, no renewal.

As I have been falling more in love with this man Jesus these past two years, this “I can fix myself” mentality has still so much been a part of my daily ups and downs. It is my natural and automatic reaction to my sin, and truly the root of my sin, that it is so ingrained in every maneuver. It finds me still reaching and reaching for an unachievable goal. 

It is truly when you admit every weakness to the Man that is Strength that you feel encompassed by freedom (oxymoron?).

It’s a scary thing to come before the presence of God vulnerable and begging for the gift of grace. Begging for the impartation of perfection because you know your dirty hands will get you nowhere but deeper into the dirt. 

What’s absolutely beautiful is that then, in that place, is perfection. The dirt becomes moldable. Without a shadow of a doubt that grimy, unstoppable sin is so beautifully swept up and made into a clay pot. 

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” 2 Corinthians 4:7 

And those imperfections, my friends, are slowly manifested into what we never imagined. And what we could never achieve.

It is this desperate surrender that allows you to be loved and to love. To teach and to be taught.

I’m left confused as to what the sam-heck could be molded from this mess of a girl. But left in AWE that despite (and in spite of) my mess, it still happens.

JOY fills every

Breath breathed,

Song sung,

Laugh laughed.

“Not to us O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory for the sake of your steadfast love and faithfulness!” Psalm 115:1

in or out

yes...i'm 20, and i live in a dorm room...and i LOVE it

what do i love about it you ask?

i have no roommate. hollerrr

i meet so many people

awkward elevator encounters are on the reg

i get to use a mini fridge in my room...my third grade dream came true!

i have a pretty great view. well, great for charlotte.

i can walk to class

my keurig makes it homie

my vintage turquoise love seat fits perfectly. yay.

my goal in this room was to create a room that's so bangin cute but also an escape, not only for myself but for others. a place where the girls on my hall can come to chill, eat, do homework, or vent. i strongly believe that wherever you live, it should feel like home. at least as much as possible. 

aslo, so much can be said about you by your room. you get a sense of who that person is the moment you step foot into their room or house. and the door that opens them to that space can only leave them with two options, in or out. 

PHOTO: identity

I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.

Isaiah 44:22

Nikon L120. Brand spankin new. And lovin it. <3 More to come.

4HG- It’s Cyclical

As most of you know, I am living in Myrtle Beach right now with 150 other college students seeking life; and we have found it. It is in Christ, the Son of God that shed His blood for our sins. The theme for Summer Beach Project 2011 is I think the best theme and the only theme really, For His Glory (hence the 4HG). The cool thing about this is, that not only are we to bring glory to God through our lives, but when we do so, we get joy. And I mean maximum, completely filled, ecstatic joy. It circles back around. It’s a cyclical process. This is just the beginning, and a small glimpse of what the Lord is doing in my life as well as the three girls I’m leading, and the other 146 students.

I don’t have time to write much more. But I hope to soon. All of those supporting me in prayer, and financially, THANK YOU! Another more detailed update will be posted hopefully sooner than later.

“I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.” Psalm 89:1

21/22

So… I’m headed off to Summer Beach Project here in a few days. AND I’M SO FREAKING PUMPED! I hope to blog some while there but…well…the daily schedule gets kind of crazy so if I don’t, well sorry. I am honestly speechless when I think about the fact that I have already finished my sophomore year of college. One thing I just find incomprehensible is just how quick things change. And not only that but how you can get so established with certain people in a certain place and then do the exact same somewhere else. It’s basically as if I have two separate worlds. One at home and one at school. It’s so strange to me.

Enough with my babbling (although, not uncommon for me). I want to share a little bit of what I have been learning over this first week of summer. I began reading a book a few days ago titled “Disciplines of a Beautiful Woman” by Anne Ortlund. It truly has transformed the way I think about a lot of things. She discusses biblical womanhood while also giving advice on you’re wardrobe, daily planner, and even the organization of your closet! She’s a genius, in my humble opinion. One of the biggest subjects in which she discusses and in which I struggle (along with many others), is looks. I have known this is a struggle of mine for a very, very long time. There is such warfare in my heart and mind over this particular subject. I worry very often about what I look like and how people see me, my outfit, the size of my body, or the length of my hair. So I try to step back and focus on beauty that is solely eternal. The only problem is, well, I look in a mirror daily. I have to look presentable. So then I let the mind wander to thoughts of what could be different, or what I could change. Ortlund says in her book just this, “One of the disciplines of a Godly woman must be the discipline of the mind.” I want to discipline my mind to the word of God. Especially on this subject, but I’m not exactly sure how. So the more I read, the more I discovered the other end of the warfare going on in my heart and mind. We all want to look presentable right? Well that’s okay!! See, here’s the thing, I had no application. I didn’t know how to apply God’s Word to this particular subject. So I began over time to think that it was sinful of me to even get ready or make myself look decent in the morning. So clearly there is some major tug-a-war going on in my heart and mind. Yet again, comes precious Anne Ortlund to present some truth (that application of God’s Word that I could not, for the life of me, figure out and apply). She states in this book that there is nothing wrong with wanting to look nice and putting time towards your looks. It is actually glorifying to the Lord because we are to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, acceptable to God (Romans 12:2). This applies to our actual appearance even though our outer beauty, although God given, is not eternal. So Anne decided to share a personal conviction she had in her own life. She was reading Proverbs 31 and discovered that only 1 out of the 22 verses describing the woman/women (unknown) was describing her outer beauty, and the other 21 were describing her inner beauty. So she prays that only 1/22 of her mind would be focused on the outside and the other 21/22 would be focused on becoming the woman the Lord desires her to be. Then she went even further and gave her self some practical application; to only spend 1/22 of her day (a little over an hour) on her looks (exercise and all!). And that time spent was all to God’s glory not her own! I have decided to take on this exact conviction. This was just the practical application I needed to be sure I am focused on what is most important. This could be a short term thing, or who knows, maybe a lifetime thing. All that matters is that the beauty of HIM be portrayed through me, rather than the never satisfying, in vain efforts of outer beauty. I pray that each and every man, woman, child, grandmother, grandfather, rebel, goody-goody, and so on would see His beauty over any of my hairdos or stylish outfits. And that all I would want them to see is His beauty!

Thank you for reading this babble of a blog! I hope it has benefited you in some way.

Lord, math doesn’t faze you like it does me, but clearly 21/22 is larger than 1/22. Let those proportions be true in my life, just as the lady in Proverbs 31.

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26